Garden party held today,

invites call the debs to play,
      Social climbers polish ladders,

      wayward sons again have fathers (1),
Edgy eggs (2) and queuing cumbers (3),

rudely wakened from their slumber,
      Time has come again for slaughter

on the lawns by still “Cam” waters (4)

Champagne corks are firing at the sun again
      Swooping swallows chased by violins again
Straafed (5) by Strauss

they sulk in crumbling eaves again

Aperitifs consumed en masse

display their owners on the grass
      Couples loiter in the cloisters,

      social leeches quoting Chaucer (6)

Doctor's son a parson's daughter

where why not and should they oughta
      Please don't lie upon the grass,

      unless accompanied by a Fellow,

May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello (7)

Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say
      Beagling (8) on the downs

      Oh do please come (9) they say
Rugger is the tops a game for men they say

I'm punting, I'm beagling, I'm wining, reclining, I'm rucking,

I'm fucking
So welcome, it's a party

Angie chalks another blue (10),

mother smiles she did it too
      Chitters chat and gossips lash,

      posers pose pressmen flash

Smiles polluted with false charm, locking on to Royal arms,
      Society columns (11) now ensured,

      returns to mingle with the crowds
Oh what a crowd

Punting on the Cam, oh please do come they say
Beagling on the downs, oh please do come they say
Garden party held today they say
Oh please do come, oh please do come, they say